What Is Obesity in Children? — and Why the Words We Use Matter
By Lisa Tritto, MD
Board-Certified Pediatrician & Obesity Medicine Specialist
Evora for Kids | St. Louis & Telehealth
Parents often ask me questions like:
What does obesity actually mean in kids?
Why does the word feel so uncomfortable?
And why do doctors use different language when talking about weight?
These are important questions. When we’re talking about children, language matters — not just medically, but emotionally.
As a pediatrician specializing in weight and metabolic health, one of the most intentional parts of my care is how I talk about weight with children and families.
What Is Obesity in Children?
Obesity is a chronic medical condition that affects how the body regulates energy, appetite, and weight.
In children, obesity is defined using growth charts that take height, age and sex into account. We also look beyond the scale by using body composition measurements to better understand how much of a child’s weight comes from muscle versus stored body fat.
Obesity is influenced by many factors, including:
genetics
biology and hormones
sleep and stress
mental health
medications
environment and access to care
If weight were simply about “eating less and moving more,” we wouldn’t see so many children and adults struggling despite doing everything they’ve been told to do. Many families I work with are already making thoughtful, consistent efforts. When progress doesn’t match effort, frustration and self-blame often follow — and that’s where language becomes especially important.
Why Language Matters When Talking About Weight
The words we use can shape how children see themselves.
Labels can unintentionally:
create shame
make children feel “bad” or “different”
turn a diagnosis into an identity
Shame does not improve health outcomes. In fact, it often leads to:
avoidance of medical care
disordered eating behaviors
anxiety and low self-esteem
My goal is to help children feel supported and understood — not defined by their weight.
Why I Say “A Child With Obesity” Instead of “An Obese Child”
You may notice that I use the phrase “a child with obesity” rather than “an obese child.” This is intentional and reflects what’s known as person-first language.
Person-first language recognizes that:
a child is a child first
obesity is something they have, not who they are
We already use this approach in many areas of medicine:
a child with asthma
a child with diabetes
a child with ADHD
Weight-related conditions deserve the same respect.
Why I Avoid the Word “Obesity” With Younger Children
With younger children, I often avoid the words obesity and overweight altogether.
Young children:
think very concretely
are still developing body image and self-esteem
may interpret medical terms as labels rather than explanations
Instead, I use neutral, age-appropriate language such as:
weight
size
how the body is growing
how the body uses energy
These words are familiar and non-judgmental. They allow us to talk about health in a way that feels safe and understandable.
The medical terminology still exists — in charts, documentation, and insurance language — but conversations with children should always be developmentally appropriate.
Protecting a Child’s Relationship With Their Body
Children are still forming:
their body image
their sense of self
their trust in adults and healthcare providers
Parents often tell me:
“My child is already sensitive about their body.”
“They’ve had a negative experience before.”
“I don’t want this to define them.”
I hear that — and I adjust my language intentionally.
How Weight Conversations Change as Kids Grow
As children mature, the language evolves.
Older adolescents and young adults often want:
clearer medical explanations
a better understanding of physiology
more involvement in decision-making
Good care adapts with the child. Respectful language at every stage builds trust.
At Evora for Kids, we help children, adolescents and young adults with obesity achieve a healthy weight with lifestyle changes, emotional support and medications when appropriate.
👉 Schedule a visit to learn more.
Frequently Asked Questions
What is the medical definition of obesity in children?
In children, obesity is defined using age- and sex-specific growth charts. A child is considered to have obesity when their body mass index (BMI) is at or above the 95th percentile for their age and sex. This is a screening tool that helps guide further evaluation and care.
Is it harmful to use the word “obesity” with kids?
For younger children, the word can be confusing or emotionally loaded. That’s why many pediatric specialists use neutral, age-appropriate language when speaking directly with kids, while still using accurate medical terminology in documentation and discussions with parents.
Why do doctors say “child with obesity” instead of “obese child”?
This is called person-first language. It emphasizes that a child is not defined by a diagnosis. Obesity is something a child has, not who they are.
Does avoiding the word “obesity” mean the condition isn’t taken seriously?
Not at all. The condition is addressed fully and thoughtfully. Choosing different language is about protecting a child’s emotional well-being while still providing appropriate medical care.
How should parents talk to their child about weight?
Focus on health, growth, and how the body feels and functions. Do not talk about appearance or how their clothes are fitting. Use neutral language, avoid labels, and let your child know they are supported.
Will the language change as my child gets older?
Yes. As children mature, conversations often become more detailed and medical. The goal is always to match the language to the child’s developmental stage and readiness.
